Deeds left undone
by random-k
Summary: Letters Max never sent


Deeds left Undone

_Max writes 20 letters, she never has the courage to send. _

_I own nothing but my own ideas_

_I don't usually reuse quotes, but this one still fits. _

_"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."- Harriet Beecher Stowe_

* * *

Chloe,

I'm sorry.

* * *

Dear Chloe,

I'm so sorry about your dad. I didn't know what to say, and I didn't end up saying anything when the time came. I know it sounds kind of lame, but-

* * *

Chloe,

I'm sorry about your dad. I'm sorry I didn't say anything at the time. I was a coward.

* * *

Chloe,

How do you tell you best friend, that you are moving? How do you even speak the words, knowing that they will colour the rest of the time you have together?

* * *

Chloe,

I'm sorry. I just couldn't think of a way to bring it up, whenever I tried, I'd look at you, and they would die in my mouth.

* * *

Chloe,

I'm sorry. Perhaps I didn't really try hard, because I didn't want to. I just wanted It to never have to happen, and felt if I brought it up, it would become inevitable.

* * *

Chloe,

I wish you would say something. Call me on my phone and scream at me. Write me a scathing letter. At least I would know how you feel. At least I wouldn't be starting this on my own. I'm not good at that.

* * *

Chloe,

I miss you so much.

Just do something.

Please

* * *

Chloe,

I'm so scared that you are going to be mad at me, and I don't want to face it and find out.

* * *

Chloe,

A part of me is scared that you have no room for me in your life anymore. And maybe that's why you haven't sent anything. I haven't been the kind of best friend you need, after all. I'm not even there by word, after all. You don't need me.

* * *

Dear Chloe,

I'm trying to do this right. I'm sorry about your Dad's death, and that I couldn't be there in the aftermath. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was moving, or keep in contact with you afterwards. A part of me is still cringing from the fallout, that you will be mad at me, still hiding. The other part is scared that you have become indifferent and don't want me anymore. And so I've stayed in limbo.

* * *

Hey Chloe,

Maybe it will be easier to send if I catch you up first . So, I have been settling well into Seattle. I love the art scene here, and have been having a lot of fun finding spots I like to shoot. I even made some friends. Xara, who is really into music, and has taken me to a few Indie concerts. I recently got into Bright eyes! I love their song Lua. Although nothing can beat my love for Syd Matters, when it comes to music.

I also find myself hanging with Hunter a lot in class. Hunter's pretty funny, and always writing jokes about people in the margins of my notes. Sometimes they can be pretty mean. I'm not always sure I'm ok with that.

Xara is pretty good about keeping me from being drowned by schoolwork. She's good at planning.

Sometimes we travel outside of the city, and I notice spray painting. Well, it's not hard to find to find spray paint admitibly, but I think I'm learning to recognize the style of an artist. It's not names or words, but thought out paintings. The work is always fun, occasionally going into mean territory, but it's really good. Well thought out, good location, nice colours. The artist probably should be asking first, before painting, but a fair amount of people do leave them around. I really liked the one they did for Mother's day, and took its picture. The father's day one made me cry, so I didn't, but wish I had. I probably would have made it come out blurry, with how hard my hands were shaking.

It reminded me of you

* * *

Chloe, WHY AREN'T YOU SAYING ANYTHING!

You know I'm not good at taking the first step.

* * *

Are you scared too? To see what's on the other side? To learn the answer?

Angry? Indifferent?

The first one comforts me, and the thought of the last one terrifies me.

* * *

Chloe,

"I'm sorry" is not nearly enough after all the time has passed.

I can't think of anything that would be enough, honestly.

* * *

Chloe,

I miss you.

* * *

Chloe, I don't know If I want to be friends with Hunter anymore.

You don't even know who Hunter is.

Because I never sent it.

I don't even know if you would have read that one. Maybe you would have been mad. How are you? Did you make more friends? Done anything cool?

Its Stupid. I should get a journal or something.

* * *

Chloe,

I am being considered for a scholarship. I might be able to use it to get to Arcadia Bay.

But I don't even know if I have it yet.

Maybe it would be better to see you in person, If I get it. It would be a surprise. A good one I hope.

* * *

Chloe,

I'm a coward. I'm back in Arcadia Bay, and I can't even walk over to your house.

Never send my emails.

Or even this stupid letter.

* * *

Chloe,

I'm sorry.

* * *

_This was written under the assumption that Chloe didn't contact Max either. Before "Before the storm." Wouldn't have changed much, probably. Just Max would have had mail that she felt guilty about not replying to, more and more so over time, but have been stuck over how to start it after so much time had passed_


End file.
